Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle

It is impossible to explain what it means to actually know yourself unless you do actually know yourself. And it is impossible to know yourself, unless you have faced every situation that is possible to face and have reflected on the patterns of actions which you have shown. As such, I cannot say that I know myself completely. However, I will attempt to explain what I have found in my search to know myself and, while I know no one else’s journey is exactly the same as mine, hopefully what I have found for myself will be fairly universal. I will use “you” and “yourself,” rather than “one” and “oneself” because I feel it makes the writing more accessible.

The journey to find who you are is one that is continually taking place. As you face the world around you, making decisions or choosing not to, your character is revealed. As an individual, you can choose to contemplate your actions and attempt to discover who you are or you can act flippantly, without regard to who you may be. I believe, however, that everybody to some extent or another does chose to reflect on their actions. That introspection must continue to take place so that you may become one step close to knowing who you are.

The problem with discovering who you are is that you are biased. You will never be able to understand truthfully who you are at any given moment, because your observation will be clouded by who you think you are, or who you would like to be. This relation has been discussed by Werner Heisenberg in his Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, which states that the act of observation necessarily changes that which is observed. While he was referring to the impossibility of knowing both the location and velocity of an electron, this principle is equally valid in the search for discovering yourself. When you pinpoint any facet of who you are, your judgments on whether it is a positive or negative trait will automatically cause you to change, either to emphasize the importance of the trait or minimize its value to you.

And, of course, once you realize the impossibility of knowing yourself completely, your next question would be, “then why bother trying?” Apart from the fact that it is really fun to ponder who you are (It is an easy way to knock off a couple of hours whenever you have nothing to do, and it gives you an ample supply of information from which to write a humanities blog), knowing yourself is a good way to achieve happiness. Unless you are a person who has never doubted themselves in their life, the quest to find who you are will allow you to tackle any aspects about yourself which you are unhappy with. If you can pinpoint a trait which results in your unhappiness, it makes it possible to change. While knowing yourself does not by any means imply that your life will improve, not knowing yourself makes true change impossible.

And this is my greatest weakness. I live in my head, leaving quite infrequently to interact with other people or implement the ideas which I am constantly developing. This problem of mine has come about because of the influences of my family. My house is not one in which the open forum of opinions is encouraged or even accepted. I therefore began to contain my thoughts within my head as a means of remaining safe. I only discovered that I was doing this a few years ago, when I began to see how differently I acted compared to my peers, but have attempted to overcome this defect ever since. Even today, when I try to engage in what I have long thought of as frivolous communication, conversation for the sake of conversation, I find it difficult to sustain myself for any appreciable amount of time. The problem is that I remain in the same environment at home and so change has come slowly. I feel confident however, that once I leave my home for college, I will be able to mold my personality into one which is more socially acceptable.

What I believe to be my greatest strength was also spawned from my experience at home. As I found my life pushing continually downward, I began to realize that it was not my fault. The poor decisions of my parents, while they definitely affected my life, should not be the focus of who I am. With this realization, I began to look at life with, what I believe to be, a practical outlook. Every decision I make should be made to improve my life, not just for the sake of living. For example, I have learned not to stress out over homework/college stuff/any of those other generally stressful things. By stressing, I make myself unhappy without actually improving the quality of my work. There is no benefit, so it not worth doing. Another area in which practical thought has helped to improve my life is allowing me to reveal who I am and what experiences I have had. Every time I release a little piece of information which I have held hidden within me for years, I find myself feeling a little revealed. When I discovered this, and realized how much this helped me to remain sane, I so made the decision not to hide myself any longer, despite the possible embarrassment I might face. While this may seem like a relatively minor issue, it has truly improved my life.

Thinking about my strengths and weaknesses is, for me, not very challenging. I am always evaluating my actions looking for faults to improve and assets which afford me pride. The difficulty came in writing. Because my thoughts are constantly shifting and following trails of thought in different directions, writing down one set of ideas is a fairly logical order takes time. I must indulge my head in following these trails before returning to the task at hand. Also, like I explained in the previous paragraph, I find solace in revealing who I am, and so rather enjoyed the experience of writing this. I do not feel my strengths and weakness, the essence of who I am, is something to shy away from, but rather, it is something that should be embraced and contemplated.

1000 broken failures... an accomplishment?

It was a Sunday, a few days after Diwali, the Indian festival of lights, and I was sitting on the couch in the home of a good family friend. It is a tradition, that on the weekend of Diwali, my family would go to Sudhir-uncle’s house and would bring a gift of sweets. However, on this particular trip, last year, I wanted to bring something special, just from me. I had gotten pretty good at ceramics and so made a fruit bowl to give them.

And, being inclined to look for ways to make some extra money, I asked Sudhir-uncle, “Do you think my bowl is good? Would you buy it if you saw it in a store?”

And he, behaving almost like a parent, answered, “I would buy anything that you made.”

I grew irritated by his response. I was asking the question seriously, and his answer sounded as though he was trying to placate me. And so, in an attempt to try to get the truth out of him I said, “It’s not really that good. I don’t really like how the glazing came out; it was supposed to be in bands, not all blended together like that. I don’t think anybody would buy it.” I expected him to tell me that it was perfect the way it was and that, of course, someone would want to buy it.

To my surprise he answered, “You know that my cousin is a potter. He told me that his teacher told him that he should not sell a single piece until he had broken a thousand of his own pieces. Those thousand pieces have to be ones in which you have used your best effort and realized that they did not turn out as well as you wanted them to.”

It took me a moment to unravel what he had said, but once I did, I was silenced. I had not thrown out ten pieces, let alone a hundred, or a thousand. However, I still felt that if someone was willing to buy my work, no matter for how little, it was good enough, but I didn’t try to argue.

It was not until I returned to school and saw how often I would think, “This looks better than what so-and-so made,” that I realized that I was judging my work by how I compared to others, rather than looking at whether it was actually good or not. It was just like what I hated hearing from teachers: “It wasn’t exactly right, but I know you tried hard, so I’ll give you credit.” This resulted in me taking all of my works-in-progress and throwing them out. I then proceeded to read a few books on throwing before returning to the wheel.

This advice, while not appreciated at the time, is the one which I have remembered the best and have truly attempted to imbue into every aspect of my life. I realized that doing my best doesn’t necessarily mean that I was producing the best work that was possible. I have to actively try to learn and practice so that my best gets ever closer to the best. It was like calculating limits in calculus. I must bring my best as close to the best as possible, even it is impossible for it to be equal to the best, so that I can accurately judge what the best would be. While I have sadly not yet accomplished this, I believed that if I am able to use this advice in all that I do, nothing will be out of my reach.

Grabbing the Tail of the Monster

When I look to the future, my vision gets blurry. These glasses in which I wander the world so proudly do little to sharpen my vision in that fourth dimension people call time. And yet, I do not see that as a failure, a reason to cast off the glasses and travel blind during the present in search of a clearer future. The future is unpredictable and often the search for it causes us to lose sight of what we want or need for ourselves at the moment.

That being said, however, the quest to divine the future can be greatly enjoyable in the present. And so I find myself plunging into that river of imagination to see where it will lead me…

As I sink to the bottom, I see the shimmer of gold. It mingles with the mud and rocks, waiting to be lifted out and claimed by the finder (in this case me). Money is clearly a commodity I would like to possess. The security provided by having an ample supply of money in turn provides the opportunity to fulfill the other goals of my life. In itself, it constitutes a purely personal achievement and yet through fiscal stability, I will be able to become, myself, a value to humanity.

I begin to swim, and I realize the water is clear, no trash, no waste. It is the perfect balance between nature and animal. I hope that within my lifetime I see the world become one in which sustainable living is valued higher than mere wishful thinking. Humanity has come to the point where further growth will result in eventual destruction if we as a group do not choose to rethink the steps we take to achieve that growth. At this time, the switch to sustainable living has a personal cost far above what the average person is able to pay, and so to make the change myself, I would have to make the money to which I referred earlier. Additionally, if through the course of whatever career I choose, I am able to work to make sustainability more practical, I would like to do so. Sustainable living would most definitely be valuable to humanity as a whole, although for people at an individual level, it may require sacrifices. However, I want to make the change for the purely selfish reason that it would make me feel good about myself and would allow my children a healthy planet on which to live.

A giant sea monster rises out of the reeds and begins to swim away. I grab onto its tail and let it pull me along to wherever it chooses to go. Fantasy and science fiction books have helped me greatly throughout my childhood. Whenever I felt the world of reality was being unfair to me and I needed to escape for a time, I would be able to open a book and submerge myself in the story. I believe this saved my sanity and would like, when I have the means, to help a greater number of children access these stories. I would like to sponsor libraries around the country that would allow kids to access these books. This is perhaps my only goal which is not selfish (Although it would be kind of cool to have a building named after me). I feel that, while this may not help humanity in some grand sense, it would touch the lives of many individuals.

I release the tail of the monster, but my speed shoots me past the surface of the water. I see around me scenes which I have never seen before, an unfamiliar world. Travel is another goal of mine which would require money. I want to see other cultures and other places so that I can understand how they differ from my own. I feel that if I have the resources, I have a responsibility to use them to better myself, and I believe travel to be a good way of doing that. This again is valuable to me alone.

As I fall back to the water, I do a flip and then curl into a ball, stretching out right before I land to make the biggest splash possible. I feel that the most important endeavor of my life will be to enjoy every moment of it. Who knows if that sea monster is lying under me with its jaws open, waiting for a morning snack? Because life is unpredictable, I feel it is important that I make the time which I can control, the present, the most enjoyable that I can. Whether I die next week or in a hundred years, I want to have experienced enough of the joys of life that I will not regret my death. While having fun is again important to me personally, I do not think I can accomplish anything else worth accomplishing without having fun.

Heroes Anyone?

Arguably the most timeless theme in literature is the battle between good and evil. These struggles try the character of those who find themselves trapped between the two forces. Heroes are the ones who rise up to those challenges and are found victorious. They do not need to be the most glamorous or the best loved, they simply need to succeed where all others would fail. They could be vile people, who under normal circumstances would only be concerned with, say, taking over the world. However, this is exceedingly rare as the nature of a person rarely, if ever, changes, making these vile people unlikely to come to others aid if it means a possible loss for themselves.

Because a hero can be anyone, there are no prerequisites for being a hero. However, as their endeavors must lead to success whether directly through their efforts or with them playing an essential role, heroes tend to have certain traits in common. Courage is perhaps the most common, as soon-to-be-heroes must take the step that no one else has. They must choose the hard path when given the option to turn back. In The Lord of the Rings, for example, Frodo does not have to take the ring past Rivendale. He chooses to after seeing that the other races represented in the Council of Elrond are too invested in the doings of the world and so could not be suitable ring-bearers.

Another common trait is some form of strength. Some heroes, like Odysseus and most other ancient heroes, have some form of divine aid. They are either blessed by the gods, part god, or fated to achieve victory. Others must use more mundane powers that they gain through the experiences of their lives. These could range from their martial training, like the Jedi in Star Wars, to intellectual superiority, like Hermione in Harry Potter, to even skills in writing and oratory, as displayed by Peter and Valentine Wiggin in Ender’s Game. Still others could have the powers “bestowed” upon them, take for instance The Fantastic Four or Wolverine.

While women are often not seen in these lists, as stories with heroes tend to be geared to a male audience, there are many heroines. Throughout history, however, women are not valued very highly is society by those doing the writing (men were the only ones educated until relatively recently), so heroines are written about primarily in modern stories. While The Lord of the Rings, is set in the distant past, it was written recently so you do see a female hero. Eowyn takes up the standard of Rohan and defeats the Witch King, a feat no man could accomplish. In the Justice League, you also see several women who play important roles.

As heroes can only become heroes if they accomplish a feat which a lesser person could not, they are necessarily rare. There simply are not enough worthy troubles, and not enough worthy people. By the time a land is in need of a hero, the common people are desperate and so it must indeed by an unhappy time. This ignores the fact that a multitude of minor problems, while not enough to lure a hero into being, can still make a people quite unhappy.